Courage.Ever feel like there's something that you really want - like, really,
really want - but didn't have the guts to ask for it?
Or maybe you did ask, and you felt really bad about it.
It's kinda like when you can't stand someone, but they think you're best friends. You have nothing against them, they seem perfectly nice. There's just something about them that you don't like. You want to tell them that their presence makes you want to rip out your hair, but just can't.
...
Okay. So technically, it's nothing like that. But the guilty feeling is kinda the same. Almost. It's more like when you want something and it's crazy expensive and it's not the kind of thing your parents would have you buy for yourself like a really expensive shirt you don't need and you feel bad about asking for it.
Currently, I am a freshman in highschool. In 2007, the summer between 6th and 7th grade, I went to a summer performing arts camp that you may or may not have heard of, called French Woods. I had a great time, but found it a little difficult to make friends because I was so shy. (That isn't to say I made no friends, of course. Just nobody I stayed in contact with after.) Not to mention that after waiting hours to audition for a show there, I chickened out and left with only 5 or so minutes before my turn. I mean, I was garunteed to get in a show, even if it was just chorus. I just couldn't audition. At that point in my life, I quite literally could not sing in public.
Of course, just two weeks ago I played a foul-mouthed, rude, obnoxious, impatient, pregnant cripple psychopath in my school's production of Urinetown in front of the entire (and, might I add, incredibly judgemental) high school without a problem.
(littlebeckytwoshoesftw? ;D)Talk about coming out of your shell.
Anyway, I feel like I would have a better experience. If I liked it while I was there before, imagine now, when I would actually have the confidence in myself to talk to people without being approached first and ACTUALLY DO WHAT I WENT THERE TO DO. Though, I will admit, I loved what I did last time. Set design was great, and so was silk screen. I had never done silk screening before, and set design let me combine two things I love; art and theatre.
I asked my mom if I could go again this year, and she said to ask my dad, which I haven't gotten the chance to do yet. If I could go, it would definately have to be the second session, because the first one interferes with regents and finals and the third and fourth would be in the middle of the acting class that I take at a local theater. The second session means only missing the first two weeks, and better to miss the first two weeks when we're just barely getting started and preparing for the show then the last eight when the show is cast and we are rehersing. At the end of the workshop we'll probably put on a performance, so I definately can't miss that. However, the second session is the most expensive. Almost $5,000. I don't remember, but the workshop I just mentioned is probably about $200. Luckily, French Woods isn't too far away; it's not like we'll have to pay for a plane ticket. It's just an hour and a half to two hours away, and my grandparents live nearby so we've gone in that direction plenty of times, so it's not unknown territory.
I feel bad about being afraid to ask for something. In the acting buisness, half of the idea is having the guts to just ask. My acting teacher once told us how he got a job just by asking "Are you hireing?" Technically, they were not. Technically, he had no knowledge in the field. But he got the job. His potential boss pointed to a chair and said "What kind of chair is that?" My teacher didn't know, so he guessed. I don't remember, but I'm sure he said something stupid, like "A wooden one?" The guy was like "How can I hire you if you don't even know that that is a __________ chair?", when the guy my teacher had asked for a job from was like "Actually, Mr. bossdude, that is a ______________ chair." After a short debate, the boss dude realized that he was wrong and gave my teacher a job.
Not the best story because I don't remember the details, but still a good story because I know that you, dear reader, know what I mean.
Got no talent? Guts and luck. That's all you need to catch a break in this world, let alone this buisness. And that's what I could use now.
